1.7 - Walking Away
Context
Social and cultural context
- The poem reflects on an event in the 1940s, a time when it was common for upper-middle-class British families to send young children to boarding school.
- This practice often required a "stiff upper lip" attitude, where parents were expected to suppress their emotions for the sake of their child's traditional upbringing.
- Day-Lewis's poem explores the deep emotional pain hidden behind this cultural expectation of stoicism and emotional reserve.
Literary and biographical context
- Cecil Day-Lewis was Poet Laureate and deeply valued traditional British education, despite its emotional costs.
- The poem is an autobiographical reflection on his son, Sean, leaving for school, capturing a universal parental experience of letting a child go.
- The formal, controlled structure of the poem reflects the poet's own struggle to contain his powerful emotions within accepted social and literary conventions.
Psychological and emotional context
- The poem presents parental love as an act of sacrifice, where allowing a child's independence is more important than a parent's desire to protect them.
- It examines the lasting psychological impact of separation, suggesting that some painful memories remain vivid and raw for decades.
- Day-Lewis explores the paradox that love is proven not by holding on, but by having the strength to let go.
Overview
Walking Away in a nutshell
- What literally happens in the poem: The speaker recalls a memory from eighteen years ago, watching his young son walk away from him on his first day of school. He reflects on the pain of that moment and the nature of parental love.
- Context and significance: Written by Cecil Day-Lewis about his son, the poem explores the painful necessity of separation for a child to gain independence. It suggests that true love is proven by the act of "letting go."
- Key techniques and approach: Day-Lewis uses a regular form, a time shift from past to present, and natural imagery to show how this personal memory represents a universal truth about parent-child relationships.
Translation and Day-Lewis's intent
Lines 1-5
"It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day -
A sunny day with leaves just turning,
The touch-lines new-ruled - since I watched you play
Your first game of football, then, like a satellite
Wrenched from its orbit, go drifting away"
Translation
- The speaker remembers a specific autumn day almost exactly eighteen years ago.
- He watched his son play his first football game before seeing him drift away from him, comparing the separation to a satellite being violently torn from its path.
Day-Lewis's intention
- The specific time marker "eighteen years ago, almost to the day" shows how this painful memory is permanently etched in the speaker's mind.
- The violent verb "Wrenched" suggests the separation felt unnatural and traumatic for both parent and child.
- The satellite metaphor elevates the parent-child bond to a cosmic, powerful force, making the separation seem like a violation of natural law.
Lines 6-10
"Behind a scatter of boys. I can see
You walking away from me towards the school
With the pathos of a half-fledged thing set free
Into a wilderness, the gait of one
Who finds no path where the path should be."
Translation
- The son disappears into a crowd of other boys.
- The speaker vividly pictures his son walking unsteadily, like a vulnerable young bird leaving the nest for the first time and finding itself lost in a wild, confusing place.
Day-Lewis's intention
- The simile [a comparison using 'like' or 'as'] "like a half-fledged thing" uses imagery from nature to emphasise the son's vulnerability and lack of readiness for the world.
- The word "wilderness" suggests the school, and the wider world, is a hostile and dangerous environment from which the father can no longer protect his son.
- This highlights the parental anxiety that comes with letting a child face challenges alone.
Lines 11-15
"That hesitant figure, eddying away
Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,
Has something I never quite grasp to convey
About nature's give-and-take - the small, the scorching
Ordeals which fire one's irresolute clay."
Translation
- The image of his son wandering away reminds the speaker of a seed being carried away from its plant.
- He reflects that this painful process is a necessary part of nature's cycle, where difficult experiences ("ordeals") are needed to shape a person's character.
Day-Lewis's intention
- The natural simile "Like a winged seed" portrays the separation as a natural and necessary part of growth, even though it is painful.
- The speaker is trying to come to terms with the separation by seeing it as a universal law of nature.
- The phrase "scorching ordeals" shows he understands that independence is only gained through difficult and painful experiences.
Lines 16-20
"I have had worse partings, but none that so
Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
Saying what God alone could perfectly show -
How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go."
Translation
- The speaker admits that, despite experiencing worse separations in his life, this particular memory is the one that still causes him persistent pain.
- He concludes with a philosophical reflection that becoming an individual requires separating from parents, and that parental love is demonstrated by allowing this to happen.
Day-Lewis's intention
- The verb "Gnaws" suggests a constant, nagging pain, like an animal chewing, showing that the emotional wound has never fully healed.
- The final two lines present the poem's central message as a profound, almost religious truth.
- Day-Lewis's purpose is to show that the ultimate test of parental love is the sacrifice of letting a child find their own way in the world, no matter how much it hurts.
Writer's methods
Analysing form, structure, and language together reveals how Day-Lewis conveys the complex emotions of parental love and loss. The poem's controlled and formal qualities contrast with the powerful, painful feelings being described.
Form
The poem is written in four regular five-line stanzas (quintains) with a consistent ABACA rhyme scheme.
| Theme | Evidence | Poet's intention |
|---|---|---|
| The lasting impact of memory | The poem is a lyric, expressing personal thoughts and feelings about a past event. | To create an intimate and reflective tone, drawing the reader into the speaker's personal grief and making the experience feel universal. |
| Parental love as sacrifice | The regular stanza length and rhyme scheme create a sense of control and order. | To mirror the father's attempt to manage his painful emotions, reflecting the "stiff upper lip" mentality of the era. This containment makes the underlying pain feel more intense. |
| Vulnerability and independence | The consistent rhythm (iambic pentameter) is steady, like a heartbeat or walking pace. | To reflect the steady passage of time since the event, while also mimicking the son's steady "walking away" from his father. |
Structure
The poem's structure follows the speaker's thought process, moving from a specific memory to a universal conclusion.
| Theme | Evidence | Poet's intention |
|---|---|---|
| The lasting impact of memory | The poem begins in the past tense ("It is eighteen years ago") but shifts to the present tense ("Gnaws at my mind still"). | To show that while the memory is from the distant past, the pain it caused is still felt keenly in the present. This makes the separation feel like an ongoing trauma. |
| Growth through separation | The focus shifts from the personal pronoun "I" and "you" in the first half to the more general "one's" and a philosophical statement in the final stanza. | To universalise the experience, suggesting that this personal memory reveals a truth about all parent-child relationships. It moves from a personal story to a shared human insight. |
| The painful necessity of letting go | The final line, "love is proved in the letting go," creates a paradox [a seemingly contradictory statement] that concludes the poem. | To leave the reader with a powerful, memorable summary of the poem's central message. It resolves the emotional conflict by defining love as an act of release rather than possession. |
Language
Day-Lewis uses imagery from nature and space to explore the themes of connection, separation, and growth.
| Theme | Evidence | Poet's intention |
|---|---|---|
| Vulnerability and independence | The speaker compares his son to "a half-fledged thing" and "a winged seed loosened from its parent stem." | This natural imagery portrays the son as vulnerable and not yet ready for independence, while also showing that separation is a natural and necessary part of life's cycle. |
| The painful necessity of letting go | The speaker describes the separation with the violent verb "Wrenched" and the painful verb "Gnaws." | This language of physical pain makes the emotional suffering of the father feel tangible and real to the reader, emphasising the trauma of the moment. |
| The lasting impact of memory | The son is described as a "satellite...Wrenched from its orbit," who goes "drifting away." | This extended metaphor of space suggests the father and son have their own gravitational pull. The separation breaks a fundamental law, causing the son to become lost and the father to feel the deep pain of that broken connection. |
What to compare it to
When comparing poems, focus on the methods poets use to present their ideas about love and relationships. Analysing how different poets explore similar themes from different perspectives will lead to a more insightful answer.
Suggested comparisons
- Walking Away and Mother, Any Distance - Both poems use extended metaphors to explore parent-child separation, but from opposite perspectives (the parent's and the child's).
- Walking Away and Follower - Both poems reflect on a parent-child relationship from the past, but they explore a reversal of roles over time in very different ways.
Walking Away and Mother, Any Distance
Comparison in a nutshell
Both poems explore the moment a child gains independence, using metaphors of distance and connection to convey the mixed feelings involved. However, Walking Away focuses on the parent's pain, while Mother, Any Distance focuses on the child's anxiety and excitement.
Similarities
Point
Both poets use an extended metaphor to represent the unique and powerful bond between a parent and child, and the process of separation.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Mother, Any Distance |
|---|---|
| Day-Lewis uses the metaphor of a "satellite / Wrenched from its orbit" to describe his son leaving. This suggests their bond is a powerful, natural force like gravity, and breaking it is a violent, traumatic act. | Similarly, Armitage uses the extended metaphor of a tape measure to represent the connection between mother and son. The tape "unreeling / years between us" shows their shared history, while the son needs it to "breaking point" to find his own independence. |
| Both metaphors suggest that while separation is necessary for independence, it also involves stretching or breaking a fundamental connection, which is a difficult and painful process for both parent and child. | Both poems also use imagery of flight to signify freedom. In Walking Away, the son is a "half-fledged thing," while in Mother, Any Distance, the speaker reaches towards a sky where he might "fall or fly." |
Differences
Point
While both poems explore separation, they do so from contrasting perspectives, leading to different emotional tones.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Mother, Any Distance |
|---|---|
| Day-Lewis writes from the father's perspective, looking back eighteen years later. The tone is one of melancholy and unresolved pain, as the memory still "Gnaws at my mind." The focus is on the parent's sense of loss. | In contrast, Armitage writes from the son's perspective as he is moving into his first home. The tone is one of excitement mixed with anxiety. The focus is on the child's need for independence, even though he still feels connected to his mother ("Anchor. Kite."). |
| The structure of Walking Away is formal and controlled, reflecting the father's attempt to manage his grief. The regular quintains and rhyme scheme contain the powerful emotions. | Conversely, Mother, Any Distance is a variation on the sonnet form, which traditionally deals with love. The loose structure, with enjambment [line runs to next] and an uneven rhyme scheme, reflects the speaker's uncertainty as he navigates his new freedom. |
Endings comparison
Point
The endings of both poems offer a resolution, but Walking Away concludes with a philosophical reflection on the past, whereas Mother, Any Distance ends on a note of future uncertainty.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Mother, Any Distance |
|---|---|
| The poem ends with the aphorism [a short, memorable statement of truth] that "love is proved in the letting go." This provides a sense of acceptance and understanding, even if the pain of the memory remains. It is a conclusion reached after years of reflection. | In contrast, the poem ends with the speaker on the verge of a decision, reaching for a hatch that opens on an "endless sky / to fall or fly." This ending is open and focused on the future, leaving the reader to wonder about the outcome of his new independence. |
Walking Away and Follower
Comparison in a nutshell
Both poems are autobiographical reflections on a father-son relationship, looking back at a specific memory from childhood. However, Walking Away focuses on the pain of separation, while Follower explores admiration and the eventual reversal of roles.
Similarities
Point
Both poets use a nostalgic tone to reflect on a past memory of a father-son relationship, showing how these moments shape their identity.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Follower |
|---|---|
| Day-Lewis begins by establishing a precise memory: "It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day." This vivid recollection highlights the lasting emotional impact of watching his son leave for school. | Similarly, Heaney begins with a powerful memory of his father: "My father worked with a horse-plough." He recalls his father's skill with admiration, showing how this image defined his childhood. |
| In both poems, the speakers recall their childhood selves with a sense of distance. Day-Lewis sees his son as a vulnerable "half-fledged thing," while Heaney remembers himself as "a nuisance, tripping, falling, / Yapping always." | Both poets use this reflection to understand their present selves. Day-Lewis realises that letting his son go was a defining moment of love, while Heaney grapples with the role reversal in his relationship with his ageing father. |
Differences
Point
The poems present contrasting views on the dynamics of the father-son relationship; Day-Lewis focuses on a moment of separation and distance, whereas Heaney focuses on closeness and admiration that later becomes a burden.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Follower |
|---|---|
| The central image is of the son "walking away from me," creating emotional and physical distance. The poem is about the pain of letting go and the son becoming an independent figure. | In contrast, the central image in Follower is of the son following "in his broad shadow." The poem is about closeness and the desire to emulate his father, not separate from him. |
| The father in Walking Away feels pain and loss, watching his son go "Into a wilderness." He is a passive observer of his son's difficult journey into selfhood. | Conversely, the son in Follower feels admiration for his father, who is presented as an "expert." The father is a powerful, active figure who is in complete control of his environment. |
Endings comparison
Point
The endings of the two poems reveal a significant difference in how the father-son dynamic has evolved over time; Walking Away ends with a philosophical acceptance, while Follower ends with a frustrating role reversal.
Evidence and explanation
| Walking Away | Follower |
|---|---|
| The poem concludes with the universal truth that "love is proved in the letting go." This ending offers a sense of resolution and wisdom gained over time, accepting separation as a necessary part of love. | In contrast, Follower ends with an ironic twist. The final lines reveal that "It is my father who keeps stumbling / Behind me, and will not go away." This ending suggests a sense of frustration and unresolved tension, as the roles have completely reversed. |
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