Worked example 1

This section provides a practice question with an extract, followed by sample responses at different levels. Use these to understand what examiners expect and how to improve your analysis for Question 2 on Paper 1.

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Question and extract

This extract is from a novel. A young man named Daniel is walking through a deserted village at dusk.

The village lay silent, wrapped in the grey shroud of twilight. Daniel's boots crunched on the gravel path, the sound unnaturally loud against the stillness, as if the empty houses were listening. Windows gaped like hollow eyes, their curtains long since torn or faded, offering glimpses of forgotten lives within. A chill crept down his spine, not just from the evening air, but from the sense that something lingered here—something unseen, yet heavy with presence. The church at the end of the lane loomed larger with every step, its spire a dark finger pointing accusingly at the sky. A single crow perched there, its croak splitting the silence like a warning.

Look in detail at this extract.

How does the writer use language here to create a sense of eeriness?

You could include the writer's choice of:

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms.

[8 marks]

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Level 2 response (3–4 marks)

The writer makes the village sound creepy and unsettling. The description of the village being "wrapped in the grey shroud of twilight" uses a metaphor to show it's dark and mysterious. The word "shroud" makes it seem like something dead, which adds to the eerie atmosphere.

There is also personification when it says the houses were "listening" which makes it feel like the village is alive and watching Daniel. This creates a spooky feeling because it seems unnatural. The windows are described as "hollow eyes" which is a metaphor that makes them sound empty and scary.

At the end, the crow's croak "splitting the silence like a warning" is a simile that shows how sudden and frightening the sound is. This makes the reader feel uneasy because it feels like something bad might happen.

Why this is Level 2:

• Shows some understanding of language choices and their effects, but explanations are often basic ("makes it seem like something dead")
• Identifies techniques such as metaphor, personification, and simile with some relevant comments
• Effects on the reader are mentioned but lack depth or development ("creates a spooky feeling")
• Quotations are sometimes longer than necessary ("wrapped in the grey shroud of twilight")
• Limited exploration of connotations or deeper meanings
• Analysis is uneven, with some points stronger than others but not consistently developed

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Level 4 response (7–8 marks)

The writer crafts an eerie atmosphere through imagery that blurs the line between the living and the dead, unsettling the reader from the outset. The village is described as "wrapped in the grey shroud of twilight", where the metaphor of a "shroud" evokes death and burial, suggesting the village is entombed in its own silence. The muted colour "grey" reinforces this lifelessness, draining vitality from the scene and making the reader feel as though they, too, are stepping into a forsaken place.

Personification transforms the environment into something sentient and menacing. The empty houses are described as "listening", implying an unnatural awareness that positions Daniel as an intruder under scrutiny. This animacy is intensified by the windows likened to "hollow eyes", a metaphor that strips the houses of humanity yet grants them a ghostly gaze. The adjective "hollow" suggests not just emptiness but a void that might once have held life, prompting the reader to imagine what (or who) once stared out, deepening the unease.

The sense of an unseen presence is heightened through sensory language that feels both intangible and oppressive. A "chill crept down his spine" uses the verb "crept" to personify the cold as a stealthy, predatory force, while the following clarification ("not just from the evening air") hints at a supernatural origin. This ambiguity forces the reader to question what "lingered here", with the vague "something" carrying a weight of dread precisely because it remains undefined, mirroring Daniel's growing anxiety.

Finally, the auditory imagery of the crow's "croak splitting the silence like a warning" delivers a jolt of threat through its violent connotations. The verb "splitting" suggests a brutal rupture of the oppressive quiet, while the simile "like a warning" imbues the sound with intent, as if nature itself is cautioning Daniel. Positioned atop the church spire (a "dark finger pointing accusingly"), the crow becomes a harbinger, its cry echoing through a landscape already charged with judgment and foreboding. The reader is left anticipating danger, sharing Daniel's instinct that this place holds unseen perils.

Why this is Level 4:

• Demonstrates perceptive and detailed understanding of how language creates an eerie atmosphere
• Analyses effects with depth, exploring multiple layers of meaning ("prompting the reader to imagine what (or who) once stared out")
• Uses precise, short quotations (1–6 words: "shroud", "hollow", "crept", "splitting")
• Employs sophisticated subject terminology accurately (metaphor, personification, auditory imagery)
• Explores connotations and ambiguities effectively ("a void that might once have held life")
• Consistently links language choices to reader response ("forces the reader to question")
• Shows a nuanced grasp of how structural and linguistic choices build cumulative unease

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Comparison: What separates the levels:

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Worked example 2

This second practice question and set of responses will further illustrate the difference between levels, using a different context and focus. Compare these with the first example to reinforce your understanding.

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Question and extract

This extract is from a short story. A woman named Clara is standing on a cliff edge during a fierce storm.

The wind howled like a wounded beast, tearing at Clara's coat with invisible claws. Rain lashed her face, sharp as needles, each drop a tiny assault on her resolve. She stood rooted to the cliff edge, the ground beneath her trembling as if it, too, feared the storm's wrath. Below, the sea roared, a monstrous thing, its waves clawing at the rocks with relentless hunger. Lightning split the sky, illuminating the chaos for a heartbeat before plunging everything back into shadow. Clara's heart pounded, not just from the cold, but from the raw, untamed power surrounding her.

Look in detail at this extract.

How does the writer use language here to convey the power of the storm?

You could include the writer's choice of:

• words and phrases
• language features and techniques
• sentence forms.

[8 marks]

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Level 2 response (3–4 marks)

The writer makes the storm sound very powerful and dangerous. The wind is described as howling "like a wounded beast" which is a simile that shows how loud and scary it is. This makes the reader feel like the storm is alive and out of control.

The rain is also described as "sharp as needles" which is another simile that makes it sound painful when it hits Clara's face. This shows how strong the storm is because it can hurt her. The sea is personified as a "monstrous thing" which makes it seem huge and frightening, like it could destroy anything.

There is lightning that "split the sky" which sounds violent and powerful. This adds to the idea of the storm being unstoppable. It makes the scene feel intense and dangerous for Clara.

Why this is Level 2:

• Shows some understanding of language choices, identifying techniques like simile and personification
• Comments on effects are present but often basic ("shows how loud and scary it is")
• Quotations are sometimes too long or not precise enough ("like a wounded beast")
• Limited development of ideas, with explanations lacking depth
• Reader response is mentioned but in general terms ("makes the reader feel like the storm is alive")
• Analysis does not explore connotations or multiple layers of meaning

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Level 4 response (7–8 marks)

The writer conveys the storm's overwhelming power through animalistic imagery that transforms natural elements into predatory forces. The wind "howled like a wounded beast", a simile that captures not just its ferocity but also a sense of primal pain, as if the storm itself is suffering yet still dangerous. The metaphor of "invisible claws" tearing at Clara's coat extends this bestial quality, suggesting an unseen attacker with relentless intent. This predatory language makes the reader feel Clara is at the mercy of a living, hostile entity, heightening the storm's dominance over her.

Sensory violence underscores the storm's physical assault on both Clara and the environment. The rain is "sharp as needles", a simile that reduces a natural phenomenon to a series of piercing weapons, each drop a "tiny assault" on her resolve. The noun "assault" is particularly striking, implying a deliberate attack that tests her endurance, forcing the reader to imagine the cumulative pain of exposure. Similarly, the sea's waves "claw at the rocks with relentless hunger"—the verb "claw" mirrors the wind's aggression while "hunger" personifies the ocean as ravenous, insatiable in its destructive appetite. This visceral imagery positions the storm as an unstoppable force, consuming everything in its path.

The instability of the setting amplifies the storm's power through pathetic fallacy. The ground beneath Clara is "trembling as if it, too, feared the storm's wrath", personifying the earth itself as vulnerable and submissive to the tempest's fury. The noun "wrath" carries biblical connotations of divine anger, elevating the storm to a near-supernatural level of might, as if it wields judgment over the landscape. This makes the reader share Clara's sense of insignificance against such vast, uncontrollable power.

Structural choices and dynamic verbs heighten the storm's chaotic energy. The lightning that "split the sky" uses the violent verb "split" to suggest a sudden, catastrophic rupture, illuminating the "chaos" for just "a heartbeat" before darkness returns. The brevity implied by "heartbeat" mirrors the fleeting yet intense nature of the flash, leaving the reader disoriented by the abrupt shift. This temporal instability, combined with Clara's "pounding" heart (echoing the storm's own rhythm), blurs the boundary between human fear and elemental force, making the storm's power not just external but invasively personal. The reader feels trapped in the same overwhelming maelstrom as Clara.

Why this is Level 4:

• Offers perceptive and detailed analysis of how language conveys the storm's power
• Explores effects with sophisticated insight, including multiple layers of meaning ("elevating the storm to a near-supernatural level of might")
• Selects precise, short quotations (1–6 words: "howled", "claws", "sharp", "wrath")
• Uses advanced subject terminology effectively (animalistic imagery, pathetic fallacy, temporal instability)
• Delves into connotations and deeper implications ("carries biblical connotations of divine anger")
• Consistently integrates reader response with precision ("forcing the reader to imagine the cumulative pain")
• Demonstrates nuanced understanding of structural choices and their impact on tone and atmosphere

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Comparison: What separates the levels:

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Key differences between stronger and weaker responses

Understanding what distinguishes a Level 4 response from a Level 2 response is crucial for improving your own analysis. Here are the main areas to focus on.

Core distinctions in performance:

Higher-level responses don't just spot techniques; they explain how language choices shape meaning and influence the reader. They go beyond the obvious to uncover subtle connotations, structural impacts, and emotional responses, which is what examiners reward with top marks.

Strategies to apply these standards to your own work

To elevate your responses from Level 2 to Level 4, use the following strategies when preparing for and answering Question 2.

Practical steps for improvement

The following steps will help you develop the analytical depth and precision needed to achieve higher marks in Question 2.

Step 1: Practise precise quotation selection

• When annotating an extract, highlight only the most powerful 1–6 words of a description or technique.
• Avoid copying out whole sentences; focus on the word or phrase with the strongest connotations.
• Example: Instead of quoting "the wind howled like a wounded beast", focus on "howled" for its animalistic intensity.

Step 2: Focus on effects, not just techniques

• After identifying a technique, always ask: "What does this make the reader think, feel, or imagine?"
• Use phrases like "this suggests", "this evokes", or "this forces the reader to" to shift focus to impact.
• Example: Don't just say "this is a simile"; explain that "comparing the wind to a 'wounded beast' evokes both ferocity and pain, making the reader fear its unpredictable power".

Step 3: Explore deeper meanings

• Look for connotations of individual words and consider alternative interpretations.
• Ask: "What else could this mean? How does it link to the broader atmosphere or theme?"
• Example: For the word 'shroud', go beyond "it means death" to "it suggests the village is buried or entombed, hinting at a tragic past the reader can only imagine".

Step 4: Use sophisticated vocabulary and terminology

• Build a bank of precise analytical verbs (e.g., "evokes", "intensifies", "underscores") and specific terms (e.g., "semantic field", "pathetic fallacy").
• Integrate these naturally to enhance your points, not just to name-drop them.
• Example: "The semantic field of decay, with words like 'faded' and 'hollow', deepens the eerie tone by suggesting long-term neglect".

Step 5: Self-assess using mark scheme criteria

• After writing a practice response, compare it to the Level 2 and Level 4 examples above.
• Check: Are your quotations short? Have you explained effects? Have you explored deeper meanings?
• Use the comparison tables to identify where your response falls and set specific targets for improvement.

Step 6: Practise with timed conditions

• Set a 10–12 minute timer to simulate exam pressure and write a response to a new extract.
• Focus on quality over quantity—aim for 3–4 deeply analysed points rather than many shallow ones.
• Review your work using the mark scheme levels to track progress over time.

By consistently applying these strategies, you can develop the analytical depth and precision needed to achieve higher marks in Question 2.