11.5 - Writing Commentary
Understanding commentary in AP English essays
Commentary is the heart of analysis in the AP English Language and Composition essays, particularly in the Rhetorical Analysis Essay. It goes beyond simply identifying rhetorical choices or summarizing evidence; it explains how and why those choices work to achieve the writer's purpose. Strong commentary connects specific strategies to their impact on the audience or their role in the broader argument, showing a deep understanding of the rhetorical situation.
Why commentary matters
- Demonstrates analytical skill - It shows you can think critically about how language functions.
- Earns higher scores - In the rubric for the Rhetorical Analysis Essay, commentary is crucial for the Evidence and Commentary row, worth up to 4 points.
- Connects evidence to purpose - It bridges the gap between what the writer does and why it matters, making your analysis meaningful.
- Reflects sophistication - Layered commentary that explores broader implications can contribute to earning the Sophistication point.
Where commentary fits in your essay
Commentary appears in the body paragraphs of all three AP essay types (Rhetorical Analysis, Synthesis, and Argument), but it is especially central to the Rhetorical Analysis Essay. After presenting evidence, such as a quotation or paraphrase, you must explain its significance. This explanation is your commentary, and it should be detailed enough to show how the evidence supports your thesis or line of reasoning.
Breaking down function and effect
Effective commentary operates on two levels: identifying the function of a rhetorical choice (what the writer is doing) and analyzing its effect (how it impacts the audience or serves the purpose). Mastering both aspects ensures your analysis is thorough and insightful.
Function
The function is the specific role or action of a rhetorical choice within the text. It answers the question, "What is the writer doing with this strategy?"
Examples of function:
- Establishing credibility
- Appealing to emotion
- Clarifying a complex idea
- Rebutting a counterargument
- Creating urgency
Effect
The effect is the result or impact of the rhetorical choice on the audience or argument. It answers the question, "How does this strategy influence the audience or advance the purpose?"
Examples of effect:
- Builds trust in the writer's authority
- Evokes sympathy or anger
- Makes the argument more persuasive
- Motivates the audience to act
Connecting function to effect
To write strong commentary, always link the function of a choice to its effect. This connection shows why the writer's strategy matters. For instance, a writer might use an anecdote (function: personal storytelling) to make an abstract issue relatable (effect: creates emotional connection with the audience). Without explaining both parts, your analysis remains incomplete.
Strategies for writing strong commentary
Crafting effective commentary requires practice and a structured approach. Use the following steps to ensure your analysis is clear, detailed, and tied to the rhetorical situation. These strategies apply across all AP essay types but are tailored here for rhetorical analysis.
Step-by-step guide to writing commentary
Step 1: Identify the rhetorical choice and its function
Start by naming the specific strategy or device (e.g., appeal to pathos, vivid imagery, statistical evidence). Explain what the writer is doing with this choice. Are they trying to persuade, inform, or connect emotionally?
Step 2: Analyze the immediate effect on the audience
Describe how this choice impacts the audience right away. Does it make them feel a certain emotion, trust the writer more, or understand the argument better? Be specific about the audience if possible, considering their values, concerns, or context as described in the prompt.
Step 3: Link to the broader purpose or argument
Connect the immediate effect to the writer's larger goal. How does this strategy contribute to the overall message or purpose of the text? Think about long-term implications or how it fits into the rhetorical situation (e.g., historical context, intended outcome).
Step 4: Layer with deeper implications for sophistication
Go beyond the obvious to explore nuances, tensions, or broader significance. Does this choice reveal something complex about the issue or audience? This step can help earn the Sophistication point by showing a deeper understanding of the text.
Quick tips for effective commentary
- Use precise language - Avoid vague statements like "this is effective"; instead, say "this builds credibility with a skeptical audience."
- Avoid summarizing - Don't repeat what the evidence says; focus on how it works rhetorically.
- Balance depth and brevity - Provide enough detail to explain the effect, but don't over-explain at the expense of other points.
- Integrate seamlessly - Weave commentary naturally after evidence, ensuring it flows with your line of reasoning.
Common pitfalls in writing commentary
Many students struggle with commentary because they focus on identifying strategies without explaining their significance. Here are frequent mistakes and how to correct them.
| Mistake | Why it's a problem | How to fix it |
|---|---|---|
| Simply naming a device (e.g., "The writer uses imagery.") | Identifying a strategy without analysis doesn't address how it functions or affects the audience. | Explain what the imagery depicts and how it influences the audience's perception or emotions. |
| Summarizing evidence instead of analyzing it | Restating the content of a quote or passage doesn't show rhetorical understanding. | Focus on the writer's intent and the impact on the audience, not what the evidence literally says. |
| Making general statements about effect (e.g., "This persuades the audience.") | Vague claims don't demonstrate specific insight into the rhetorical situation. | Specify how and why it persuades, linking to audience values or context (e.g., "This persuades a concerned audience by appealing to their fear of future consequences."). |
| Ignoring the rhetorical situation | Not addressing audience, purpose, or context misses the point of rhetorical analysis. | Always tie commentary to the specific audience or purpose outlined in the prompt. |
| Writing commentary that feels disconnected from the thesis | Unrelated analysis weakens your overall argument and line of reasoning. | Ensure every piece of commentary supports your central claim about the writer's purpose or message. |
Commentary in action - Illustrative examples
To understand how commentary works, examine these examples. Each shows a piece of evidence followed by strong commentary that analyzes function and effect. These are applicable to the Rhetorical Analysis Essay but can be adapted for Synthesis and Argument essays as well.
Example 1 - Appeal to pathos
- Evidence - The writer describes a personal tragedy with the line, "I watched helplessly as my home was swept away by the flood."
- Commentary - This vivid personal anecdote serves to evoke deep sympathy from the audience (function: emotional appeal), making the abstract issue of climate change feel immediate and human (immediate effect). By grounding the larger crisis in a relatable story, the writer compels readers to care about policy changes, aligning with their purpose of urging action on environmental issues (broader purpose). This choice also subtly underscores the stakes for ordinary people, amplifying the urgency for a demographic likely to prioritize personal safety (deeper implication).
Example 2 - Use of statistics
- Evidence - The writer cites, "Over 70% of Americans support renewable energy initiatives, according to a 2022 survey."
- Commentary - By incorporating this statistic, the writer establishes a factual foundation for their argument (function: logical appeal), lending credibility to their stance on energy reform (immediate effect). This choice strengthens their position by demonstrating widespread public backing, which pressures policymakers in the audience to align with popular opinion (broader purpose). Furthermore, it counters potential skepticism by grounding emotional appeals in hard data, reflecting an awareness of a politically divided audience (deeper implication).
Example 3 - Rhetorical question
- Evidence - The writer asks, "Can we afford to ignore the cries of future generations?"
- Commentary - This rhetorical question challenges the audience to reflect on their moral responsibility (function: engaging directly with values), creating a sense of guilt or urgency among readers who might otherwise remain passive (immediate effect). It advances the writer's purpose of motivating immediate action on social issues by framing inaction as a betrayal of ethical duty (broader purpose). Additionally, it subtly positions the audience as complicit, a bold move that risks alienation but heightens emotional stakes for a younger demographic (deeper implication).
Worked example - Applying commentary in a rhetorical analysis essay
Below is a short excerpt from a sample Rhetorical Analysis Essay response, focusing on commentary. This demonstrates how to integrate evidence and analysis effectively.
Sample prompt excerpt
The following passage is from a 2018 speech by a youth activist addressing a global conference on education reform.
"Every day, millions of children are denied the right to learn, locked out of classrooms not by choice but by circumstance. Can you imagine a world where your own child cannot read or write? I stand here to demand change, not tomorrow, but today."
Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices the speaker makes to convey their message about education reform.
Suggested time: 40 minutes
High-scoring response (5-6 points)
In their speech on education reform, the youth activist employs a powerful rhetorical question to engage their global audience: "Can you imagine a world where your own child cannot read or write?" This choice directly confronts the listeners by personalizing the crisis of education access (function: direct emotional appeal), forcing policymakers and leaders in the audience to envision the issue through the lens of their own families (immediate effect). By invoking such a personal scenario, the speaker transforms a distant statistic into a visceral concern, aligning with their purpose of demanding urgent action (broader purpose). Furthermore, this strategy risks alienating some by its accusatory tone but ultimately leverages the universal value of parental care, ensuring resonance across cultural boundaries at a global conference (deeper implication).
Why this scores high:
- Detailed analysis - Breaks down the function (emotional appeal) and effect (personalizing the issue) with specificity.
- Connection to purpose - Ties the rhetorical choice to the speaker's goal of urgency.
- Sophistication - Layers the commentary with a nuanced discussion of tone and cultural resonance, showing complex understanding.
- Supports thesis - Reinforces a central claim about the speaker's persuasive strategies.
Lower-scoring response (2-3 points)
In their speech, the youth activist uses a rhetorical question when they say, "Can you imagine a world where your own child cannot read or write?" This makes the audience think about kids not going to school. It is a good way to get attention and make people care about education.
Why this scores lower:
- Lacks depth - Identifies the rhetorical question but offers only vague commentary about "getting attention."
- Summarizes rather than analyzes - Restates the content of the quote instead of explaining its rhetorical function or effect.
- Misses broader purpose - Fails to connect the choice to the speaker's larger goal or rhetorical situation.
- Limited insight - Doesn't address audience specificity or deeper implications, missing opportunities for sophistication.
Comparison of scoring levels
| Aspect | High-scoring (5-6) | Lower-scoring (2-3) |
|---|---|---|
| Identification of strategy | Clearly names rhetorical question and its intent as an emotional appeal. | Names rhetorical question but doesn't clarify its purpose. |
| Analysis of function and effect | Explains how it personalizes the issue and evokes visceral concern. | Offers vague effect ("makes people care") without specificity. |
| Connection to purpose | Links directly to urgency and demand for action. | No clear link to the speaker's broader goal. |
| Sophistication | Explores tone, risk, and cultural resonance for deeper insight. | Lacks nuance or broader implications. |