Understanding the importance of commentary

Commentary is the bridge between your evidence and your argument in any AP English Language and Composition essay, whether it's the Synthesis Essay, Rhetorical Analysis Essay, or Argument Essay. It's not enough to present a quote or example; you must explain how it supports your claim, what it reveals about the topic, and why it matters to your overall thesis. Strong commentary transforms raw evidence into persuasive reasoning, directly impacting your score in the Evidence and Commentary row of the rubric.

Why commentary matters

• Connects evidence to claims - Shows how your examples support your argument, preventing your essay from being a mere list of facts or quotes.
• Demonstrates critical thinking - Reveals your ability to analyze and interpret evidence, a key skill tested in all three essays.
• Boosts rubric scores - Earns points in the Evidence and Commentary category (up to 4 points) by providing insightful analysis.
• Enhances persuasiveness - Makes your argument more convincing by explaining the significance of your evidence to the reader.

Where commentary fits in the essays

How to write effective commentary

Writing strong commentary means going beyond summarizing or restating your evidence. It requires you to analyze and interpret, making clear connections between your examples and your central claim. Follow these steps to ensure your commentary adds depth to your essay.

Steps for crafting strong commentary

Step 1: Restate the purpose of the evidence

Briefly clarify what the evidence shows in relation to your claim. Avoid repeating the quote or example verbatim; instead, paraphrase its key idea and link it to your argument.

Step 2: Explain the connection to your thesis

Describe how this piece of evidence supports your main point. Be specific about the relationship between the example and the broader argument you're making in the essay.

Step 3: Analyze the effect or significance

Dig deeper by explaining why this evidence matters. What does it reveal about the issue, the author's intent (in rhetorical analysis), or the audience's perspective? Highlight the impact or importance of the evidence.

Step 4: Explore broader implications or consequences

Extend your reasoning by considering the larger picture. What underlying principles, future outcomes, or societal lessons does this evidence suggest? This step often separates higher-scoring essays by showing sophisticated thinking.

Quick tips for effective commentary

• Be specific - Avoid vague statements like "this shows the point well." Pinpoint exactly how it supports your argument.
• Use analytical language - Incorporate phrases like "this demonstrates," "this underscores," "this highlights," or "this suggests" to signal analysis.
• Vary depth - Some evidence may require only 1-2 sentences of commentary, while complex points deserve more elaboration.
• Avoid repetition - Don't just paraphrase the evidence; add new insight or interpretation.

Strategies for extending reasoning and implications

To earn higher scores, especially in the Sophistication row of the rubric, you need to push your commentary beyond surface-level explanations. Extending your reasoning involves looking at the bigger picture and drawing insightful conclusions from your evidence.

Techniques for deeper commentary

• Identify underlying principles - Consider the fundamental ideas or values your evidence reflects. For example, does a source about renewable energy reveal a broader commitment to sustainability?
• Discuss consequences - Explore the potential short-term or long-term effects of the issue or strategy. If analyzing a rhetorical choice, what might be the lasting impact on the audience's beliefs or actions?
• Highlight broader lessons - Connect your evidence to larger societal, cultural, or historical trends. For instance, in an Argument Essay, how does your example of a policy failure inform current debates on governance?
• Qualify or complicate your claim - Acknowledge nuances or limitations in your evidence to show complexity. Does the evidence support your thesis fully, or are there exceptions worth noting?
• Link to other perspectives - In a Synthesis Essay, compare how different sources align or diverge on the issue, using commentary to reconcile or critique their viewpoints.

Quick reference for extending commentary

Common pitfalls in writing commentary and how to avoid them

Weak commentary can undermine an otherwise solid essay by failing to connect evidence to your argument or by lacking depth. Here are frequent mistakes and strategies to overcome them.

Mistakes to watch for

Worked example - Commentary in a rhetorical analysis essay

Sample passage context and prompt

The following excerpt is from a 2015 speech by Malala Yousafzai, delivered to the United Nations Youth Assembly, advocating for global education access.

"We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced. One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world. Education is the only solution. Education first."

Write an essay analyzing the rhetorical choices Yousafzai makes to persuade her audience of the critical importance of education.

[Suggested time: 40 minutes]

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Model response excerpt (high-scoring: 5-6)

In her address to the United Nations Youth Assembly, Malala Yousafzai employs powerful rhetorical strategies to advocate for global education access. One striking choice is her use of anaphora in the line, "One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world." This repetition of "one" emphasizes the simplicity and accessibility of the tools needed for change, suggesting that even the smallest contributions (available to nearly anyone) can have monumental impact. By breaking down the solution into singular, relatable elements, Yousafzai makes the daunting issue of global education feel actionable to her audience of world leaders and youth activists. This strategy not only inspires hope but also subtly challenges her listeners to act, as ignoring such a straightforward solution would be indefensible. Furthermore, this choice reflects a broader principle of empowerment through minimal resources, implying that systemic change does not require vast wealth or power, but rather collective will, a message that resonates deeply in a global context where resources are unevenly distributed.

Why this scores 5-6:

• Clear connection - Links the rhetorical choice (anaphora) directly to Yousafzai's purpose of advocating for education.
• In-depth analysis - Explains the effect on the audience (making the issue actionable, inspiring hope, challenging inaction).
• Extended reasoning - Explores the broader principle of empowerment through minimal resources and connects it to global inequalities, showing sophisticated thought.

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Model response excerpt (lower-scoring: 2-3)

In her speech to the United Nations Youth Assembly, Malala Yousafzai talks about the importance of education. She repeats the word "one" in the line, "One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world." This shows that education is important because even one person or thing can make a difference. This makes her point stronger because it's easy to understand. Her audience probably liked this part of the speech.

Why this scores 2-3:

• Limited analysis - Merely identifies the repetition and states it makes the point stronger without explaining how or why.
• Vague commentary - Lacks specificity about the audience effect or rhetorical purpose, relying on general statements like "her audience probably liked this."
• No extension - Fails to explore implications or connect to broader contexts, missing opportunities for depth.

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Comparison of scoring levels