Understanding commentary in argumentative writing

Commentary is the backbone of a persuasive argument in writing. It serves as the bridge between evidence (facts, quotes, or data) and claims (the writer's main points or thesis). Without commentary, evidence lacks context and fails to convince the reader, as it doesn't automatically reveal its importance or relevance. In AP English Language and Composition, mastering commentary is essential for demonstrating analytical thinking and building a coherent line of reasoning that resonates with examiners.

Why commentary matters

• Connects evidence to claims - It shows how specific pieces of evidence support the writer's argument.
• Reveals analytical depth - It demonstrates critical thinking by interpreting the significance of evidence rather than just presenting it.
• Guides the reader - It helps the audience follow the logic of the argument by clarifying the writer's thought process.
• Meets scoring expectations - AP readers look for insightful commentary as a key indicator of a high-scoring essay, particularly in the rhetorical analysis and argument essays.

How to write strong commentary

Writing effective commentary means going beyond simply restating or summarizing evidence. It involves explaining why the evidence matters and how it supports the claim being made. This section breaks down the process into actionable steps to help you develop this skill.

Steps for crafting impactful commentary

The following steps will guide you through the process.

Step 1: Start with the evidence

Introduce the specific piece of evidence you're using, whether it's a quotation, statistic, or example. Ensure it's relevant to the claim you're making.

Step 2: Explain the significance

Answer the question, "Why does this evidence matter?" Break down what the evidence reveals or suggests about the topic. Avoid vague or obvious statements; instead, focus on unique insights.

Step 3: Link to the claim

Clearly show how the evidence supports your argument or thesis. Use phrases like "this demonstrates," "this highlights," or "this reinforces" to make the connection explicit.

Step 4: Consider the broader impact

If possible, tie the evidence and claim to a larger context or implication. This could involve discussing the effect on the audience, the subject, or the overall issue at hand.

Key qualities of strong commentary

• Specificity - Focuses on precise aspects of the evidence rather than general observations.
• Depth - Offers thoughtful analysis instead of surface-level summary or paraphrase.
• Clarity - Makes the logic easy to follow for the reader, avoiding convoluted explanations.
• Relevance - Stays tied to the claim and overall argument, avoiding tangents.

Common pitfalls and how to avoid them

Many students struggle with writing commentary, often falling into traps that weaken their arguments. Recognizing these issues and learning how to address them can significantly improve your writing.

Mistakes to watch out for

• Summarizing instead of analyzing - Simply restating what the evidence says without explaining its importance. To fix this, always ask, "So what?" after presenting evidence, and answer with your interpretation.
• Being too vague - Making broad statements like "this is important" without detailing why. Be specific by pointing to exact elements of the evidence that support your point.
• Disconnecting from the claim - Failing to show how the evidence relates to the argument. Use linking phrases to tie every piece of evidence back to your main idea.
• Overloading with evidence - Including too many facts or quotes without enough explanation. Balance your writing by giving each piece of evidence adequate commentary.

Practical examples of commentary

To understand the difference between weak and strong commentary, let's look at some examples. These scenarios are based on a common argumentative topic to illustrate how commentary can make or break the effectiveness of evidence in supporting a claim.

Example 1: Weak versus strong commentary

Claim: Social media has a negative impact on mental health.

Weak commentary with evidence:

• Evidence - A study by the University of Pennsylvania found that increased social media use correlates with higher rates of anxiety and depression.
• Commentary - This study shows that social media is bad for people.
• Problem - This is vague and lacks depth. It doesn't explain why or how the evidence supports the claim.

Strong commentary with evidence:

• Evidence - A study by the University of Pennsylvania found that increased social media use correlates with higher rates of anxiety and depression.
• Commentary - This research suggests that constant exposure to curated, idealized images on social media platforms can foster feelings of inadequacy and comparison, directly contributing to mental health struggles like anxiety. This reinforces the claim that social media can harm users by creating unrealistic standards that are difficult to meet.
• Strength - This provides specific reasoning, links directly to the claim, and explores the broader impact.

Example 2: Weak versus strong commentary

Claim: School uniforms improve student focus and discipline.

Weak commentary with evidence:

• Evidence - A 2018 survey showed that 65% of teachers in schools with uniforms reported better student behavior.
• Commentary - Teachers think uniforms help students behave.
• Problem - This merely summarizes the evidence without adding insight or connecting to the claim about focus and discipline.

Strong commentary with evidence:

• Evidence - A 2018 survey showed that 65% of teachers in schools with uniforms reported better student behavior.
• Commentary - This finding indicates that uniforms may reduce distractions caused by fashion trends or social pressures, allowing students to concentrate more on their studies. By minimizing these external influences, uniforms appear to foster an environment where discipline is prioritized, supporting the idea that they enhance student focus.
• Strength - This explains how the evidence relates to focus and discipline, offering a clear logical connection to the claim.

Quick reference guide for commentary

Below is a table summarizing key strategies for writing commentary, along with examples to help you apply them in your essays.

By focusing on these strategies, you can ensure your commentary adds value to your argument, making your writing more persuasive and aligned with AP expectations. Practice applying these techniques to your evidence to build a stronger, more logical line of reasoning in your essays.